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Well, I Guess This is Growing Up

WEST LONG BRANCH, N.J. – What do you mean that it’s not socially acceptable for a college student to spend the day in their pajamas while eating Fruity Pebbles and catching up on cartoons?  While many wish that adult responsibilities would stay at bay, the inevitable is bound to happen.  Regardless of your childlike behavior and the fact that you still have a pediatrician, something happens.  You didn’t expect it and you certainly didn’t wish for it, but lo and behold, it just sneaks up on you.  Here are 10 signs that you’re…dun dun dun…growing up!
1.  You truly love to give gifts more than receiving them.
That’s not to say that you don’t welcome them with open arms (cough, cough – Michael Kors), but you find the joy in giving.
2.  You take out your nose/eyebrow/lip/tongue ring.
Self-expression is great and all, but that piercing doesn’t match your business suit.  Give your face some time to heal the holes before entering the work force.  Trust me, grandma will thank you for this one.
3.  You put others before yourself.
It’s not all about you and your problems and your stories and your day and your life – unless you’re Beyoncé.  No one goes before Beyoncé.  But showing others that you care goes a long way.
4.  Your desire to go to a frat party is just one step above wanting a root canal. 
The thought of jungle juice and a dimly lit basement is no longer appealing.  Hallelujah!  The amount of hand-on-hip-in-short-skirt-while-holding-a-water-bottle-filled-with-colored-liquid pictures will be kept to a minimum.  Yeah, I’m talking to you.
5.  You feel lazy with too much free time. 

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Sure, who doesn’t love spending days laying on the couch and watching all five seasons of Breaking Bad?  But that can get old very quick and that’s when you realize that you want to be a productive member in society.  That doesn’t mean that you have to go out and solve world hunger, but find something that you love to do and work hard at it.
6.  You start to buy professional clothing.
While it may be hard to believe, there is a world outside of sweatpants.  Before you know it, you’ll start scoping out your parents’ closets for office wear.  Welcome to the world of shoulder pads and tweed.  Banana Republic, here you come!
7.  You invite your friends over for a homemade meal.
Keep in mind that Pizza Hut on a paper plate is not homemade.  That means that you’ll have to dirty dishes and actually wash those dishes.  But don’t worry, that’s why dishwashers exist.
8.  Your vocabulary is full of fancy words.
What does “syndicate”, “paradox”, and “beleaguer” mean anyway?  Don’t worry, no one actually knows how to use those words properly.  So just pretend that you do with confidence and you’ll sound like you just graduated from Harvard!
9.  You stop captioning your ‘selfies’ with song lyrics.
No, I would not lie with you and “just forget the world.”  Okay Aristotle, let’s calm it down with trying to be all deep.
10.  You realize that being single is better than being in a relationship with the wrong person.
And if you actually practice this, you deserve an award.
If you haven’t done at least one of these things, how are you possibly old enough to read this?!  Keeping that childlike spark alive is important, but making the transfer to adulthood is necessary.  Keep that in mind as you try to find your place between red solo cups and glassware.
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